Who Gives A Crap

Here's the unexpected thought process that unfolded when I saw one of the teenagers walking across campus after school:

My first thought was that I'm not sure we got through to him this year. After so much intervention, planning, tutoring, threatening, encouraging, collaborating, and reassuring his parents - it's possible he's about to exit the school year with the understanding that he will still be passed through or allowed to do whatever he was told could be forfeited if he failed to change.

Then I thought about the fact that the parents might continue to enable or make concessions or bail him out. And the fact that he may never really "get it" and make positive changes, and mature into the kind of person that can avoid hard lessons and rude awakenings later in the real world. 

From there, I thought that as much of a shame as that would be, the reality is that student will still survive and probably be alright in the grand scheme of things. 

That's when it hit me.

That whole thought process brought me to the recognition of just how much we (teachers) give a crap...just how much we carry the weight of making the difference that we know needs to be made.

We find ourselves involved in a ton of feeling, and this is the peculiar part:

it's all for someone (or several different someones each year, followed by a new list of someones at the start of every new academic year) who isn't even our kid...or our relative...or so much as our best friend's kid who we just love to pieces.

Interesting to be just arriving at some moment of closure or settling of the soul after 9 months of physical/mental/emotional labor and toil.